I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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