so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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