Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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