No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
