sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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