I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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