Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
