I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
barbara walters just said penis...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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