If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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