I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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