was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
