i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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