I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
