yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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