PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
