so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
