marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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