I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
