I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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