1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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