on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
