First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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