I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
