I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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