My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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