I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
