Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
