Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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