Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
