Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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