fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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