Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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