Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
