dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize