Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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