Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
