i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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