Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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