So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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