Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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