I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
