I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
