I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
