There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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