So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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