Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
