I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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