He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
