My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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