I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize