stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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