Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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