I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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