well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
