Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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