We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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