So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
