A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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