READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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