we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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