It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
