If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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