why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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